Does this make my butt look big?

Yesterday I wore my hair differently than I had ever done it before. I got LOTS of compliments. It made me wonder if I really looked good or if it just looked different. If it just looked different and not even in a good way, I shouldn't get a compliment because that's not what a real friend does. That's not why you go shopping with your bestie. You go shopping with your bestie because you can trust her to tell you, "yes, that does make your butt look big." Or, "hm. That color washes you out. Becky can wear yellow. You? YOU should NOT!" You can trust her to be honest with you and love you even when you emphasize you flaws right in front of her. 

Next time you see someone who looks different, but not good, here are 3 things you can say instead of giving a compliment.

Say "Hi" without the compliment

If you see someone who changed something but not in a good way, you can still say hi to them, if you would normally, but don't compliment the change. Imagine you see an acquaintance who is wearing a blouse that is not flattering on them. It's either the wrong color, cut, or size. Instead of saying as you pass, "Hi Janet, I love your blouse!" Just say, "Hi Janet!" and keep walking.

Ask about something else without the compliment

You can still talk to that person, without pointing out their obvious mishap. Imagine your friend got a souvenir on a recent vacation that they decided to wear in their hair. When you see her, the ridiculously loud, over-sized prize she chose to wear on top of her head is all you can focus on. You say, "Hi Carol, I love your bow." This will let her think the placement and appropriateness of wearing it this way is good and flattering. Instead you can say, "Hi Carol, how are you doing? How was your trip to California?" This is acknowledging that she is trying to emphasize her trip. You don't mislead her, but you do show her you care about her.

Give kind criticism with a different compliment

When you are actually friends with someone there is a level of trust there. In a kind way you can tell a close friend what you really think. If you want to soften it you can add a different compliment. So instead of saying, "Natalie, I love your lipstick! Burnt orange is your color." You can say, "Hey Natalie, oh my gosh, your eyes are so blue, they shine." Chat a little more, then add, "Are you trying a new color of lipstick?" She might reply, "Yeah, I don't know how I feel about it..." Now you can say, "I'm not a big fan of this color, but I loved the pink you wore last Thursday."

Twas the Night Before Christmas Letter

Twas the year before next, in two thousand sixteen,

Both our creatures were stirring, and not wanting to wean.

The father was working, and passing the bar,

To become a great lawyer both near and afar.

The children were happy, taking classes to learn,

How to dance, swim, and cook all in their own turn.

And Mommy taught classes at Gilbert, of Art,

To adults, and to kids, and could tell them apart.

When out on the train, on the way to his work,

Someone stole Austin's phone, to the outside he took.

Austin sprang to his feet and into a tussle,

After a strike to the head he needed to hustle. 

He got his new phone back, told cops the offense,

Then signed up for Krav Maga to learn self defense.

We liked spending time, together, we two,

Practicing fighting the closer we grew.

With littles in toe, so lively and quick,

We like to go hiking and take lots of pic(s)

Zoo trips are plenty, we go with a pass,

And love to see animals, even the -uh- camel. 

Now Amelia's a dancer! She loves to perform.

She helps cook us breakfast, and keeps the food warm.

Counting is easy, and letters are fun,

She is learning so much and wanting to run. 

Eva is smart, reading books she adores!

She can climb, she can jump, she is never a bore.

Her sister she watches as so to emulate,

Together they are each others favorite playmate.

We traveled a lot this year, going away,

To places like Utah, to wish we could stay.

Visits from Becky were cherished, too few,

But video chatting will somehow have to do.

We went to New Mexico to visit and see

Loved ones and nature, which is so key.

Day trips were spent in Tucson, not for vacation,

But rather a funeral to remember Grandma Boughan.

Last but not least, to California we flew,

With Lisa's family to see something new.

Amelia's and Eva's first trip to Disneyland,

Followed by beaches to play in the sand. 

Universal Studios was not to be missed,

Harry Potter World was high on our to-do list.

Memories were made and fun times were had,

Sharing it with our children made us so glad!

Our family is happy, a right jolly old life,

Austin laughs with his children and loves his dear wife.

We like to play outside and watch funny videos,

And hear our girls giggle as we tickle their toes. 

A big year for Lisa, she got to attend,

Time Out For Women. And watch to the end

Gilmore Girls and She Loves Me! Favorited shows,

She also turned 30 and joined games of Bunco.

It's nice to be close to family, so dear,

And make some new friends with those who are near.

In this season we wish you to keep Christ in your sight,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

Love,

Austin, Lisa, Amelia, and Eva Martineau

It's Not Easy Being Green

The other day I was at Home Depot. I needed to get some wood and have it cut down. When I was checking out, the cashier asked me if I wanted to them to email me my receipt. I felt a pang in my heart. I like being green, I thought, let's save the planet one receipt at a time. So I said yes and took the extra couple minutes to fill in my email address so they could send the electronic copy of my receipt. There was a line slowly growing behind me, but I thought, don't worry, it's worth it. When I was done they printed out my receipt, shoved it in my bag, and sent me on my way. Face-palm. When I was roommates with my sister we recycled all the time. For a time we had a "service" come pick it up for us. It was really just some guy in the business program, but we were grateful. When that ended, we kept at it. We would save all of our recyclable materials. Filling up bags and bags of it. Since we didn't have a blue barrel where we were living, we had to get more creative. We would load them up in our car in the middle of the night and drive around Provo looking for a blue barrel that had a little extra space in it. We would stealthily unload a bag or two into each barrel and then drive off like the recycling bandits we were. It was very exciting.

My boss at the Provo Recreation Center was awesome. She was very environmentally conscious. She implemented a recycling system so everybody would have easy access to recycling. The problem wasn't getting people to recycle, it was communicating to the custodial staff where to dump each bin. Turns out they put everything in the dumpster and nothing got recycled. Fail.

I try to do my part for the planet. I don't just throw away every plastic bottle or container. I even get the stuff out of the bathroom when I can remember. It all accumulates in a big cardboard box either in our living room or in the corner of the kitchen. We share a blue barrel with the upstairs and somehow they always seem to beat us to filling it up. So our recycling box finds a new home in our garage for another week.

What are some of your recycling experiences? Are you green? Do you take your planet into consideration when you throw that water bottle away? What does the environment mean to you?

3 Mistakes of Charging too Little

As an artist who works on commission, I feel like people expect to pay very little for the artwork they want. Maybe it's because they don't value it as much as something else like clothes or food. Maybe they don't realize that I, too, need things like clothes and food. Maybe they don't take me seriously.

I am an artist. I have a degree. I am a professional. And I'm good at what I do. I am also a mom and my time is valuable! It's time to charge what I'm worth.

Would you want an attorney who charges the same as your babysitter (Assuming your babysitter is the 12 year old who lives down the block)? Why would you want an artist who does? Sometimes it's not even minimum wage. Sometimes it's much less.

The fact of the matter is that making art takes time. It also requires skill. Skill that was acquired and refined in college, which cost money. A lot of money. Some would say you get what you pay for. If you really believe your artwork is only worth a few dollars, then fine, only ask for a few dollars. But if you have spent hours a day working on your craft. If you have spent years of your life learning and growing and investing in yourself and the work you produce. Why would you devalue yourself, your work, and your time?

Don't do it.

I have created several comic books for a wedding company. They are fun to make but they take a lot of time and effort - a lot goes into each panel. First I have to do research. I find my reference images. Then I design a villain. I compose each panel and draw it by hand. Then I scan in the images, put them into Photoshop, and finally finish them off with color.

These are worth a lot, but I made some mistakes along the way. I started out asking what seemed like a reasonable amount. I took into account the fact that the company I'm working with also needs to make a profit (mistake number one). I was not confident in my ability (mistake number two). And I had no idea how long it would take me (mistake number three).

Mistake #1
Cutting into my profits is like paying my employer. I still want them to make a profit, but that is their responsibility, not mine.

Mistake #2
I know I am capable. I should never doubt that. If I don't think I can complete the project to the commissioners liking I shouldn't want the job. And I probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway. Every artist has a different style and focus. That's a good thing. Don't take work you don't want to do.

Mistake #3
Each panel took more than an hour to complete. I charged what would have worked out to be about $5 an hour. What was I thinking? Now I charge by the panel, which is fair for everyone. I know roughly how long it will take me to complete each image. And I know there's a market and a demand for the product so I don't have to worry that I wont get any more work.

I don't regret charging less at first because it was a learning process. I took more time on certain things that now I do more efficiently. I know what I need and how to do it the best way it can be done.

Clerkship

I am particular about language. People say I'm a bit of a grammar nazi, but I think it's more than that. Or just different. I don't so much care how many commas there are in a sentence, but I do get obsessive about words people use. Like when people say I in place of me.

Last week, Becky came to visit the girls and me. 
Yes, it's me - not I. Becky did not come to visit I. Okay, sorry! Back to the point.

During law school, Austin did a few externships. That means he got school credit for legal work he did at various places including a courthouse and a public interest law firm. You're thinking that is called an internship. Yes, but because it was legal in nature and for law school credit it is called an externship. That's the term for it.

Now that he is graduated, he is doing a clerkship. No, this is not a clerical position. He is doing legal research and work for the Goldwater Institute in Phoenix. He has important responsibilities that are the same as a lawyer would have. It is meant to give experience, much like an externship, only instead of getting school credit, he gets paid.

Our plan for after law school was to not move to Arizona. Basically anywhere else was an option, but having grown up in the heat of Arizona, it was just not an appealing option. We thought a lot about Washington, D.C. and Utah. I started getting a feeling that he should look at jobs in Arizona somewhere around the time of his graduation. I didn't know why, but I kept telling him to check there. Then when this clerkship came up it just felt right. Our next feat was to find housing. Miraculously, our sister-in-law posted an apartment listing on Facebook the week we had to finish our decision making. It all just came together.

The sad part about leaving Utah was leaving my job teaching art. I got a very similar job in Gilbert that I am really excited about. And, of course, I also have the freelance projects that come up frequently. I am glad to have a place to be creative and share my talents with others. Notice I said creative and not crafty. I am an artist with a degree. I am creative. I do not have magical powers, green skin, or a cauldron. I also don't scrapbook. I am not crafty.

Friends

I had a poem on my wall throughout high school that I still remember. I think it's nice, and a good reminder.

I went out to find a friend,

but friends could not be found.

I went out to be a friend,

and friends were all around.

I needed a friend this week to help me in a desperate moment. I "went out" in search of one and came up with very little. My best friend, my husband, came to my rescue. It really irritated me that no one else I asked was there for me. Later this week I learned I could have been there for them, because they probably needed  me just as much as I needed them. The poem, helps me remember not to be selfish, and I think that makes the best kind of friends.

I recently told my husband that I have a crush on someone. 

I feel the way I used to feel when I was in a singles ward and I liked a guy. A little nervous to approach them. Excited when they talked to me. Not to mention how happy it made me when they liked me back. Well, I don't like anyone other than my husband. And this "crush" is not a romantic one.

Since I got married my life has changed a lot. First off, I live with a boy. I have to try to do my own fashion check before I leave the house, which is becoming more and more difficult with my expanding belly. He tells me I'm beautiful when I ask how I look, but really, I want to know if my shirt isn't long enough with the pants I am wearing making the bottom half of my belly exposed (I had no idea until I saw my reflection in the door to the pediatrician's office).

He's wonderful. So amazing, patient, and thoughtful. I am truly not complaining! I just miss having friends who are girls. Relief Society has become more meaningful to me, or maybe we just have a really good RS in the ward I'm in. I look forward to going to it, not just to be uplifted and talk about the gospel, but to make friends and meet people.

So when my friend came up to me the other week and gave me a hug it made my day. She crossed the room and made her way to me. That was it, the moment I knew. We are actual friends. Not just friends because we have the same mutual friend, but real friends.

I feel more like me when I have friends and game nights, and do more than just work and work some more. I also get to spend lots of cherished time with my family.

Here's something I worked on last month. I think I will go back in and at least add some music or sound effects.

The Evil in the World

There is so much evil in the world these days. Everywhere around us. No matter where we look we can find it. Spending the weekend in Las Vegas was fun and great, but it was also so filthy there. We walked down the strip with so many people smoking and drinking. You look around at the lights and can't avoid seeing uncensored billboards, so then you look down at the ground and see porn cards advertising strippers or prostitutes. Gross.

But an even bigger concern I have about the evil in the world is not what we have to walk through sometimes, but it is the evil in our hearts. The way we think about people. The way we think about the world. And perhaps we generalize evil to everyone and everything. There is also a lot of good in the world. And that is what we should strive to be surrounding ourselves with. Not just on the outside but in our hearts, too.

There was a lot of good that I saw this weekend - in Las Vegas. Most people were kind. Most people were modest. It may have help that we were at the ALA conference, but still. We saw a lot of people who were honestly trying to make the world a better place. We watched a fountain show that brought me chills. There was even a romantic proposal caught on camera!

I came home and checked my email to find something rather disturbing. A threat had been made to my place of work. It made me worry the rest of the night, thinking of what I would do if someone really came to attack us there. Now I at least have a plan, and a pretty good one. A few weeks ago, my sister had to go to a meeting about the same type of thing. Since there have been rather a lot of school shootings lately, she had to learn what she should do if one were to happen at BYU. That was really scary for me. I tend to want to protect my family from harm. I've always protected her. But this one is out of my control.

I think that we can all make the world a little better if we choose to see the good in people. Look for it. Hope for it. Believe it is there. Because if we give up on the people around us, we become more cynical. If we doubt the good in the world, there is nothing to keep us happy. We need that in our hearts. We need that in the world. 

I love this video that so beautifully urges us to believe the best in each other and doubt the bad.

I ask myself, and invite you to do the same: Is there evil in my heart? I am trying to think better of people. If someone irritates me, I try to look at them until I feel some love for them. Everyone has at least a little bit of good in them. I want to find it. I think I will be happier.