I feel like I'm failing in every way.
I try to be a good mom. I want to be there for my kids like my mom was there for me and my sisters, but I don't know how to do it all.
I want to be successful as an artist and not have to teach, but people don't want to buy art from me.
I want to find someone who loves me and wants to be with me, but I can't find that person who I also want to be with.
I want to be calm and happy and not overreact about stupid little things, but sometimes I do get angry and frustrated and so depleted of energy that little things that don't matter will set me off. And then it will either come out in tears or in swearing. And I hate that about myself most of all.
I wish I didn't want to be married. I wish I had chosen a different path. I wish I didn't suck at life. I need to figure out how to pay my bills and give my children Christmas. I hate that when they ask for things I have to tell them no because I don't have money to buy whatever it is they are wanting. I am grateful that they do have grandparents and aunts who spoil them sometimes, but it hurts to know that I can't do that for them right now. I want so badly to give them everything, and feel like I'm able to give nothing.
I feel empty.
I try to be a good mom. I want to be there for my kids like my mom was there for me and my sisters, but I don't know how to do it all.
I want to be successful as an artist and not have to teach, but people don't want to buy art from me.
I want to find someone who loves me and wants to be with me, but I can't find that person who I also want to be with.
I want to be calm and happy and not overreact about stupid little things, but sometimes I do get angry and frustrated and so depleted of energy that little things that don't matter will set me off. And then it will either come out in tears or in swearing. And I hate that about myself most of all.
I wish I didn't want to be married. I wish I had chosen a different path. I wish I didn't suck at life. I need to figure out how to pay my bills and give my children Christmas. I hate that when they ask for things I have to tell them no because I don't have money to buy whatever it is they are wanting. I am grateful that they do have grandparents and aunts who spoil them sometimes, but it hurts to know that I can't do that for them right now. I want so badly to give them everything, and feel like I'm able to give nothing.
I feel empty.
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