I got sham and it ain't glam, it's talent!

As some of you may know, I really love plays, especially musicals. Who doesn't like it when people break out into song and dance?! I actually do know someone. When I was in NYC on a field study last year, one of my art professors showed he was a snob to plays. He liked operas, but he said that plays were the kitsch of the theater world. Low shot. I've been to an opera. In Milan. I fell asleep*.

Well, last night I had a dream and many of my friends from my last ward were in it. We were talking and someone said something descriptive using the word "sham". Someone turned, seeming confused (I think it was someone from my new ward) so the person who said it broke out into song, "I got sham, and it ain't glam..." waving her finger with attitude, then the rest of my old ward-ies joined in, finishing by raising their arms theatrically as they held out the last word, "it's talent!"

Who knew that was a thing? I learn so much while i'm asleep. I should do it more often...

I like my new ward well enough. The Bishop is phenomenal! And the people are pretty nice. Pretty and nice. But it's kind of different than what i'm used to. All the people are, well... they come from rich families. That's not a bad thing, but they just seem like they are still in the mindset that daddy will get them whatever they want and fix all their problems, and pay all their bills. They dress really immodestly - glamorously, and many of the comments people make are really shallow. It's like they mostly abide by the 'rules' of the church, but don't understand the gospel or live it's principles because they love it and WANT to live it. It's weird, but It's giving me a different perspective, which is always a good thing.

I think my dream was addressing the different dynamic of people and caliber of character. The one thing I wrote down in my notes at church yesterday was this:

I realized today that I am more attracted to those of spiritual strength than to any other kind of strength or physical attribute. If someone is doing their best, and seeking for virtue, they are the kind of person worth having in my life.

In movies, tv shows, or plays, the main character will more than likely be physically attractive. As the plot thickens, however, we may learn that they don't believe in God, or are lacking some other virtue, like chastity or they may have a drinking problem, or chicken pox, but we still root for them to win the heart of the heroine because they are the main character, and they are SO attractive!

But in real life, if I meet someone like this, I stop rooting for them. I don't mean I stop rooting for them to make good decisions, I just don't bring them closer to my heart and I don't see them in a romantic light.

In short, I guess I feel my old ward is more worthy of musicals, not because of how glamorous they are, but because they have what it takes to be in my heart. And that's sham. Apparently. So says my dream. :)

I got sham and it ain't glam, it's talent!


please forgive me for this image... it's more of a journal entry for a sketchbook about a dream I had than art I should be showing to people. It's not even completely accurate, there were guys singing too. But it applies here.

*I probably wouldn't have fallen asleep if it had been a more beautiful opera. and if I had been able to see the stage more easily (our seats were the ones rich, famous, or royal people would have sat in a long time ago to BE SEEN, and not to SEE).

Danger

I was just thinking about some of the dangerous situations I've been in and thought I'd share a few.



One time, when I was in Rome, two of my friends and I heard about this gelato place that was supposed to be the best gelato in Rome or something. We were told, "it's located in a creepy little alley that  normally you would never want to go down..." Well, that sounded like a good enough description for us, so we embarked on going down every creepy alley we could find. We never found the gelato place, but boy, we saw some stuff... I wasn't really scared, but looking back, maybe I should have been.

One time, when I was swimming in the freezing waters of Lake Como, I almost drowned. The current combined with the low temperature, combined with my less-than-expert swimming abilities dragged me toward the small pier, and under the water. It was completely worth it though. One of the most fun things i can claim living through!

One time, I got my heart broken.

One time, when I was in New York, I was trying to meet up with some friends, but I kinda got lost and took the subway to a part of town that was sketch. It didn't take long for me to realize I wasn't in a place I wanted to be in -alone- so I got back on the subway. I don't know if I was in any kind of real danger, I HAD been coming from the temple, but anything could happen.

One time I was in this souvenir shop with my dad, but when I tried to leave, the witch locked the doors with her dark powers and cackled. She tried to to attack us, but I woke up screaming. I don't have many dreams that make me wake up in such a way, but since we were on vacation, I also woke the rest of my family. (sorry)

There are more serious dangers I have been in, but who wants to read about those? I can make art about those, and not have to talk about it with words... I think these are the things that inform the way I view life. They broaden my outlook. Sure, dangerous events make good stories, but they can also build character, and strengthen my abilities to conquer even more.

New Year's Goals

I'm not the best at making new years resolutions, but I am pretty good at setting goals for myself and reaching them. Over the break I was thinking about how I'm going to spend my time this semester now that I don't have classes. I am still working on a couple reports I wasn't able to finish because of an emergency that came up, but I need to be creative and feel fulfilled.



Goal #1. Make art everyday

I didn't get a degree in Studio Art for nothing so my first goal is to make art everyday. So far, I have done this. I have worked on a portrait nearly everyday, and now I have quite a few more self portraits. I need more faces, so let me know if I can do a portrait of you! I have also been working a lot on my younger sister's wedding announcements - which has been really fun and exciting. I've made a few different ones and they all look great. I'll post them after they have their official debut.




Goal #2. Exercise regularly

Well, this is awkward... I don't know what to say here... Haha. Okay, in my mind, I was thinking I would go running every morning. That hasn't happened yet. I think I do better with a running buddy. Anyone? I can say this, however, there are 2 flights of stairs in my new apartment (mom, that's TWO), and I have to go up and down them everyday. Multiple times. I have also walked to and from campus...



Goal #3. Apply Alma 38:12

Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness. I love that it says to use boldness, but not overbearance. I want to incorporate this into my everyday life, and into the parts of my life that are not as successful as others. Okay... Do you want to know a secret? The scripture wasn't exactly the goal I wrote down, but I think it is a more reasonable one. i'll leave the actual one up to Kimber this year... Oh yeah, I think i'm doing okay on this goal too.

A Truly GREAT Week!

The time has come and my show is up! I spent Wednesday setting up my show. Walking into a completely empty gallery was a little intimating, but I was excited to get started!



Thankfully I had my family there to help! It was a lot of work, especially the Tiny Lisa photos. I had to get them into a perfect grid. The gallery provided a laser level for us to use, which helped a lot with making the the edges perfect, but the outline was mainly my dad and Kimber!








Hanging the platform for the projector was exciting. At first, it was too close to the wall, making the size of the projection too small, so we had to move it back. It wasn't easy. but it was worth it. Hanging the veil was fun. I had my mom sew the top so that we would have something to thread the cable through. The challenge with the veil was complicated. It was far enough away from the wall that the image was nearly completely corrupted. You couldn't make out as many of the faces as you could have if I had printed it out as large as it was. On the other hand, it was probably better conceptually this way. I decided to pin up the top of the veil so that it billowed out a little, bunching the extra on the sides which would then fall forward too. This created a nice frame, made the image much more readable, and still referenced the veil. Awesome!



Here's a close up of the title of this piece:


The animations look amazing on the 4 foot TVs and 5 foot pedestals. All I had to do there was burn the DVDs. Thanks to Becky this worked out perfectly too!



Anxiety in Church


Anxiety in Public (watch this all the way through)




The vinyl was fun. I wanted to have the gallery print out the cutout I had created in adobe illustrator, but they didn't, so i had to create it freehand. It was fun though. I stood up against the wall while my mom and sister traced my silhouette with strips of vinyl. Then we adjusted it.



The first thing you see when you come to my gallery is a wall with my artist statement on it. (I like that you're confronted with a wall, it adds to my concept so subtly, and yet so poignantly.)



The lighting is dramatic, but necessary. I love it. It had to be dark for the projection; which is why the wall is there, to keep the outside light outside.



I had the review with my committee on Tuesday. It went really well! They all told me I had exceeded their expectations. They said that if they came in thinking it was an MFA (Masters of Fine Art) show they would believe it. They talked about each aspect of it, and let me explain further. When I told them about how real Tiny Lisa is to me (that I call her by name and everything) they pointed out that I think of her as a separate person, so the Tiny Lisa photos aren't even self portraits in a way. They said that must be a defense mechanism in a way. As I think about that I think that is really true. When I am on stage or in a role that is not my own, I am fearless, I can do anything without timidity. That's what Tiny Lisa does for me. She is also 2-dimensional in every way. After we talked about my show they asked what my plans were from here. I told them I want to have more shows like this one and I might do grad school. They told me about grad schools and that I could go anywhere because my portfolio is strong. Then they talked with me about the benefits of various ones.

My show will be up until November 29th. I have to take it down on the 30th. So act fast! You really don't want to miss it! (This post has taken me so long to write! Every time I work on it, something else comes up to steal me away.)

This has been a good week: Thursday was my opening reception, Friday and Saturday I celebrated my birthday, Sunday was good, Monday I was the featured artist in the DVA newsletter!!



Tuesday was my review, Wednesday I got to relax with great friends, and now it's Thanksgiving!



Could life get better than this? I submit that it could not!

I'm grateful my show is up, and that it was received so well and I am so grateful for the people in my life and the help and support they have given me. I look forward to having a party with all of you in Heaven!

Publicity Done Right

Oh my gosh! I am SO excited! My show is next week. Less than a week away. But I am DONE making the art for it... and it's all awesome (obviously)! I do need to make Tiny Lisa more sturdy, so that she can stand up in a gallery for two weeks (Yes, I call the cardboard cutout of myself by name and refer to it with she and her). It shouldn't be too difficult, though, I just need to go into the wood shop. I also need to get the sheer white curtain. They didn't have white at IKEA. lame. I did get some bamboo for Becky's new office while I was there, so it wasn't a total waste of a trip. and meatballs. mmm, meatballs.

Another thing that was a big deal that I had to take care of on top of making the art for my show and having meetings was PUBLICITY. I made postcards for my show. I'm kind of in love with them. I want you (whoever you might be) to participate! print it out, cut out tiny lisa, and take a picture with her. if you can't come to my show, email it to me.

This is the Front:



This is the Back:



You don't have to get the reference, but when I was trying to figure out what to say as Tiny Lisa a certain video kept coming into my mind. You'll probably think it's really weird, but I kind of love it.



I may have taken this over the top with the fliers I made and put up in the HFAC and JKB on BYU campus. I think they are so funny, and I couldn't pass up this idea. It's so ridiculous! I cut the bottom into slips (not strips. I called them strips at first, but thought that saying, "Tiny Lisa strips for people" was inappropriate...) for people to take with them to remember the time and date of my reception.



awesome, right? Time for the Dance of Joy.

Meetings and Miracles

Last week was truly a week of miracles. I had so much on my mind of things I needed to get done. I was overwhelmed and stressed out. i needed to meet with a member of my board (there are three men who will critique my show and decide if i get my BFA or not. it's kind of a big deal). I needed to schedule the HFAC for my reception. I needed to meet with my entire board as a whole for my Preliminary review. And i needed to meet with the gallery manager to discuss my plans for my show and make sure everything was doable.

My first meeting went really well. He liked my work and gave me useful feedback. I was really excited because he understood my concept and felt like my work depicted that in a cohesive way. I left his office feeling confident.

After my meeting, however, another student caught me to tell me she and two other girls were having their final exhibitions at the same time as mine, and that we all wanted the same time for our reception. Unfortunately, one of the other girls already reserved the space. This added to my stress and I'm pretty sure I had an anxiety attack, I felt faint and nauseated. I had already announced the time of my opening reception, and my parents would be in town, and I really didn't want to have to reschedule or cancell it. But as it turned out this was actually a miracle in disguise! All four of us who have our shows up at the same time decided to do our opening receptions together. This way we will have an awesome turn out, and go in on all the refreshments together. One of the girls came up with the menu, something I don't have to worry about any more; and another girl arranged having live music, which will be AWESOME! I'm really excited about that now, and not stressed at all.

On Wednesday i met with my entire committee. Although I was a little put off that my advisor was 20 min late (shows kind of a disrespect for me, doesn't it?) this meeting went really well too! I set up my work in the studio the way i plan on having it in the gallery. We discussed my concept and how the work supports it, and even how the order I have it displayed underlines everything. We decided i should have three projections, rather than having monitors or a tangible work hanging on the wall. and my favorite aspect is projecting my celebratory finale picture onto a sheer white curtain, referencing the veil, setting it apart as something without anxiety, something heavenly.

Meeting with the gallery director was the most nerve racking thing I had to do. I was worried because I emailed the gallery staff the weekend before and hadn't heard back from them yet. So I went in to talk with them to set it up in person. I talked with the director himself, and he was really nice about it and I was reassured that everything would go smoothly. I met with him on Friday morning. I came fully prepared with a layout of the gallery the way I wanted it. He looked over it as I explained what I had planned. He told me what would work and where i would run into problems. He told me to not underestimate my audience. he also told me three projections would prob not work, so I get to use two 4-foot TVs. yeah, i'm pretty excited about that! He resolved all the concerns I had and said he was excited to see it!

I am grateful that God is a God of miracles. He knows what we're doing and how to bless us. I can see His hand in my life, and I am grateful for that!

I Can Rest When I'm Dead

I have come to my last two weeks before my show. I guess you could say I'm freaking out. My anxiety has taken over my entire life. I thought I had insomnia before, but now I don't sleep... EVER.



When I lay down in my bed and close my eyes, my mind goes to all the things that need to be done. i sit up gasping as if i had been drowning. I feel like I'm drowning.

Let me tell you how my average Tuesday goes. It starts Monday afternoon when I wake up. I work on art while listening to a book on tape/podcast/show/movie/music until it's time to go to FHE. After that I come home, eat, make some goodies work on more art until it's time to go to my 8am class. After class I work on digital art until I go to devotional with Becky. We get lunch and I fall asleep in her office. I seriously don't stop until I physically can't go any longer.

I don't know why I do this to myself. Maybe i like it. I did this last fall semester too. i had other reasons then, but looking back, pushing myself that hard, it took a toll, but i love that time of my life. i learned so much in those four months and i accomplished a lot. I like being busy, but then i need a break. i need time to renew. perhaps that is the way my body likes to work. rather than a 24 hour cycle of being awake and asleep i have a 6 month cycle.

As a side note, I went as an old lady this year for Halloween...