I Can Rest When I'm Dead

I have come to my last two weeks before my show. I guess you could say I'm freaking out. My anxiety has taken over my entire life. I thought I had insomnia before, but now I don't sleep... EVER.



When I lay down in my bed and close my eyes, my mind goes to all the things that need to be done. i sit up gasping as if i had been drowning. I feel like I'm drowning.

Let me tell you how my average Tuesday goes. It starts Monday afternoon when I wake up. I work on art while listening to a book on tape/podcast/show/movie/music until it's time to go to FHE. After that I come home, eat, make some goodies work on more art until it's time to go to my 8am class. After class I work on digital art until I go to devotional with Becky. We get lunch and I fall asleep in her office. I seriously don't stop until I physically can't go any longer.

I don't know why I do this to myself. Maybe i like it. I did this last fall semester too. i had other reasons then, but looking back, pushing myself that hard, it took a toll, but i love that time of my life. i learned so much in those four months and i accomplished a lot. I like being busy, but then i need a break. i need time to renew. perhaps that is the way my body likes to work. rather than a 24 hour cycle of being awake and asleep i have a 6 month cycle.

As a side note, I went as an old lady this year for Halloween...