Letting go.

I did it. I walked away. 

The first day I felt light and free. Like I finally took the step I needed to begin moving on and moving closer to God. 

This week has been so hard. I really miss my best friend. I'm sad he's gone. Trevor has chosen to be someone else. He's chosen to lean into his dark side. The side that doesn't feel bad about sinning. The side that his greatest ambition is to get better at poker. The side that cheats on me and treats me like an object. 

He has disrespected me and has lied to me even when asked directly. 

I want the Trevor who wants to be right with God. I want the man who defends my honor and protects me from being called names even in jest. 

I'm devastated that I lost him. That he's not here anymore. And I'm disgusted with who he's choosing to be.