Two Years

This picture is of incredible significance to me.

I took it just before Austin moved out, well after we decided to get divorced. I've kept it in my wallet ever since. It has brought me peace every time I look at it. It made me think, "Okay, we can do this. They will be okay because they've got each other." They were three and four.

Today marks two years from the night my ex-husband moved out. Mom, that's TWO.

Yes, that's right.

It's been two years since you moved from me

Packed your things aside

and said "I'm leaving"

Four years since you came to me saying

"I don't have a testimony"

Eight years since we fell in love

Choosing each other forever and ever

Seems like yesterday that it happened

But it also feels like someone else's story

A lot has happened since then. A lot has changed. And some things haven't changed.

I have worked at the same place for five years. I have also had a period of no work, and a period with two additional jobs. 

I have two amazing kids. I came to terms with the possibility of not have more children and accepting that. I'm still a mom, but now I'm a single mom. A dating mom. It's a huge challenge, trying to balance this double life. I finally feel comfortable combining the two, only because I finally have a partner I trust and love completely.

I live in a different place. And at the same time, I live in the same place I did 20 year ago (when I was in jr high). I went from a large space on a farm, to a tiny house in a side yard. And now I'm back in the room I grew up in (because a close friend needed a place to stay so I gave her my tiny house for the time being).

I have met some incredible people, whom I have become close to. I have learned from them. Cried with them. Prayed for them. Worked with them. Served with them. Traveled with them. I have loved them. The people I have met because I got divorced is one of my greatest blessings. I am truly grateful for each person who has entered my life and helped shape who I am now.

Especially Trevor. And his family, who I look forward to being able to call my family.

It's been a year and a half since it was final

Signed the papers and it was all over

Found new friends who understand me

I've still got the girls for all eternity

It's been three months since the FHE

Where I met a great guy not a moment too soon 

I learned he was meant for me

And now I sit back and wait for us to get married

The most important thing that has stayed the same is that I have a testimony of my God. I know I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, has a plan for me, and won't let anything frustrate that plan. I know my Savior lived a perfect life, suffered and died for me, so that I can turn to Him with every need, question, worry, or hope. I am fully known and deeply loved. I am grateful for the path my life has taken. Even though while I was going through parts of it I would have done anything to change it. I have learned to trust in God fully and to not fight His will or timing.