That night Gabby had the most restless night's sleep. Her mind jumped from one outlandish impossibility to another.
Maybe she’s from the future and time traveled back to see me for some reason. She obviously must not know the rules of time travel. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to contact anyone you know -- or will know. I mean, if time travel was possible. Which it’s not.
As she ruminated on this fanciful notion she drifted into a light sleep where time travel was real. And this little girl was her child. They lived in a big white house with a wrap-around porch and their family. It was a beautiful cloudy day so they went to their expansive backyard with perfectly green grass to have a picnic. They reclined to watch the happy clouds float by. But suddenly they turned gray and angry. Instead of puppies and pool floaties, the clouds looked like monsters with horns and sharp claws. They started chasing her through dimly lit halls that had no beginning and no end. As she ran the monster got closer to her. She tried to scream but nothing came out. She tried again and again, and then she woke up to the sound of her own muffled scream.
She looked around but it seemed she did not wake her roommate. She was still snoring, and likely used to the noise. Unfortunately, she successfully woke herself up enough that she was wide awake. She got up to get a drink of water but found Clair sitting in the dark living room illuminated only by the light of her phone screen.
"What are you doing up?" Gabby asked.
"I can't sleep. Marie told me some stuff last night after I went to bed and I can't get it off my mind."
"Like what, are you also her mother? Or maybe you're her grandmother!"
They both laughed lightly.
"Actually it was all worse than that. She said--”
Just then a figure appeared in the doorway. It was Marie. Just standing there looking straight ahead.
"Hey, Marie, did we wake you?" Gabby asked, but received no answer.
"Marie?"
The two roommates looked at each other. Clair got up to help Marie back to bed, but she was unresponsive.
“I think she’s sleepwalking.” Clair said. “I’m going back to bed. We can talk tomorrow.”
Gabby stayed up for a while. She knew it was impossible for her to be Marie's mother, but she couldn't help but recognize the physical similarities they shared. She laid on the couch thinking about the bizarre situation she found herself in. She felt grateful for Clair for stepping in and taking care of this little girl. She thought back on the severe panic attack Marie had when they discussed calling the police. The poor thing held herself as though she was genuinely scared. Like she had been mistreated.
Gabby walked down the corridor of a strange place with strange people. They all looked like clones of herself. She didn’t know where she was going but she felt the urgency of getting there. She passed windows that looked into rooms, but there were no doors anywhere. Where was she? A hospital? Or a building on campus maybe? Finally she got to a line of girls standing single file along the wall leading up to a door. The way out, Gabby hoped. But when she rushed past the girls and through the door she found herself in the testing center. She had an exam right now. But she didn’t know any of the answers on this test. It was asking questions like:
True or false: When is the baby due?
Why did the dog bark?
Who made the sugar cookies?
A. You
B. Your Mom
C. Ole Danny boy
D.All of the above
How is the dress gray?
And:
What is the chemical formula of DNA?
This time she woke up sweating and decided to take a shower and then study for a while. Even though it was still very dark outside. She started with her Nutrition textbook but had moved on to Social & Psychological Dimensions of Sport by the time light began to spill through the window. She grabbed her running shoes and went for a run. This always helped her clear her head and bring her peace. It was her happy place. When she got home she this point she checked the time and figured it was late enough in the morning in New York for her to call her mom.
“Hello?"
"Hi Mom."
"Hi Honey, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, no I'm fine. I just wanted to call and hear your voice."
"Aww, you haven't done that since freshman year. Are you feeling homesick?"
"Yeah, no. Not really. I just had a really crumby night last night. And some nightmares."
"Oh, that's non bene. I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yeah, actually." She paused for a moment, not wanting to bring up what she needed to ask her mother. "Mom, I want to ask you about Savannah."
"OH. Okay. What do you want to know?"
"You said she died when we were born. Did you actually see her little body?"
"Oh, wow. Hun, I wasn’t expecting that. Well, I was exhausted, you know. Savannah was so much weaker than you were. She was tiny. I saw her for a moment before they rushed her to the emergency NICU area."
"So after they told you she didn't make it...?"
"No sweetheart. I didn't think I could handle it. You know she was a bit of a surprise. She was behind you in the ultrasound so we didn't even know she was in there until she wasn't any more. I know it's awful to say, but I wasn't connected to her like I was to you. I thought that if I held her, it would make her too real and my heart would break too much. I've always had love for her, but I haven't let myself, you know..." her guilt saturated voice trailed off.
“So you never saw her. Interesting.”
“Why?”
“Mom, I have something really bizarre to tell you.”
“Okay...”
Gabby takes a deep breath and sighs. “Do you think I can come visit you this summer? I’ll need to be back by July 15th to start my internship, but can I come visit once I finish finals?”
“Of course! Are you kidding? I would love that.”
“Okay, I’ll leave next week and tell you all about it when I get there.”
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