Push Past the Impossible

When I was in labor with Amelia the contractions were coming frequent and hard. I was exhausted, having been in labor for the past 25 hours. I got to the point where my mind and body felt like I couldn't go on another minute, I couldn't endure another contraction, I couldn't do it, and I uttered those words, "I can't do it." My midwife and husband both contradicted me (rude), "you are doing it!" My body gave me a break from every muscle seizing up for a couple blissful minutes that felt like much longer. It gave me the boost of energy I needed to push my beautiful baby out and complete the task that was asked of me. The task I didn't believe I could do. But God made me to do it. He let me endure that incredible pain for a moment so that I could hold my fresh from heaven little angel in my arms. 

I studied Art in college. It was the obvious path for me. I've been creating my entire life with anything and everything. All my teachers and all my peers growing up knew I was an artist because I was always drawing. It was my purpose. I wanted to make art and I felt like I was called to do so. I excelled in my college Art classes, earning scholarships and awards throughout, being called not just the cream of the crop, but the cream of the cream. I was praised and honored. Since I've graduated I haven't reached my dreams or my potential and quite frankly I'm exhausted. I'm done. I'm sick of wanting it and trying and failing. I feel like a hopeless failure. I don't know what the last push looks like here. I don't know how to get past it and be able to hold my dreams in my arms. 

Success is messy. It's hard. It feels impossible at times, and sometimes maybe it is. But showing God that you're willing to work HARD for something, showing Him that you want to achieve something great and are willing to go through exhaustion to get there, that is not overlooked. He sees you. He knows you and loves you. He has a plan for you. Don't worry about disappointing anyone so long as God is pleased with you. That is the goal. Make Him proud and try to see yourself as God sees you, because if you put Him first He already is.