Does this make my butt look big?

Yesterday I wore my hair differently than I had ever done it before. I got LOTS of compliments. It made me wonder if I really looked good or if it just looked different. If it just looked different and not even in a good way, I shouldn't get a compliment because that's not what a real friend does. That's not why you go shopping with your bestie. You go shopping with your bestie because you can trust her to tell you, "yes, that does make your butt look big." Or, "hm. That color washes you out. Becky can wear yellow. You? YOU should NOT!" You can trust her to be honest with you and love you even when you emphasize you flaws right in front of her. 

Next time you see someone who looks different, but not good, here are 3 things you can say instead of giving a compliment.

Say "Hi" without the compliment

If you see someone who changed something but not in a good way, you can still say hi to them, if you would normally, but don't compliment the change. Imagine you see an acquaintance who is wearing a blouse that is not flattering on them. It's either the wrong color, cut, or size. Instead of saying as you pass, "Hi Janet, I love your blouse!" Just say, "Hi Janet!" and keep walking.

Ask about something else without the compliment

You can still talk to that person, without pointing out their obvious mishap. Imagine your friend got a souvenir on a recent vacation that they decided to wear in their hair. When you see her, the ridiculously loud, over-sized prize she chose to wear on top of her head is all you can focus on. You say, "Hi Carol, I love your bow." This will let her think the placement and appropriateness of wearing it this way is good and flattering. Instead you can say, "Hi Carol, how are you doing? How was your trip to California?" This is acknowledging that she is trying to emphasize her trip. You don't mislead her, but you do show her you care about her.

Give kind criticism with a different compliment

When you are actually friends with someone there is a level of trust there. In a kind way you can tell a close friend what you really think. If you want to soften it you can add a different compliment. So instead of saying, "Natalie, I love your lipstick! Burnt orange is your color." You can say, "Hey Natalie, oh my gosh, your eyes are so blue, they shine." Chat a little more, then add, "Are you trying a new color of lipstick?" She might reply, "Yeah, I don't know how I feel about it..." Now you can say, "I'm not a big fan of this color, but I loved the pink you wore last Thursday."